I’ve always secretly hated/envied runners. It always seemed to me that they had life perfectly figured out, you know? I mean, think about it: their favorite activity is something that a) keeps them healthy, b) keeps them skinny, c) allows them to eat more, d) doesn’t require a lot of equipment or membership fees or pricey supplies, e) can be done almost anywhere, f) doesn’t negatively affect the environment and g) also potentially means getting exercise for your dog, who then behaves better. It just isn’t fair. My favorite activity is eating salt and vinegar chips. That does not have one single positive result. What’s up with that?

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This year, though, instead of complaining, I’m doing. It’s part of my New Year’s resolution, I think. I’ve been trying so desperately to find a workout routine that I can stick to, and nothing has stuck. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. Last Friday, my friend Matt, who lives in Boston, told me he was running the Rock ‘n’ Roll marathon in Nashville on April 28th. I’ve never been to Nashville, so I thought I’d drive up for the weekend to cheer him on. Then, I sent the info to my friend Bianca, who is an amazing, jealousy-inducing running machine. She pointed out that there was a half-marathon the same day. Out of nowhere, for no reason at all, a thought popped into my head: Could I do that?

My first answer to myself was, “Uh, no, stupid. Obviously not.” But the more I thought about it, and the more I asked people who knew what they were talking about, I found myself thinking, “Maybe I could.” I looked at training schedules and talked to Brad. And somehow, we came to the conclusion that yes, we can run a half-marathon on April 28th, and yes, we’re going to try. Yes. We are insane.

In one of the best examples ever of our mutual compulsive buying issues, Brad and I woke up on Saturday and went right to the running store around the corner. We got our “gaits” and feet tested (Brad has low arches and is an overpronator; I have medium-to-high arches and a neutral stride), and soon, we were out the door with new running sneakers, technical socks and little pouches to hold our iPhones. A few short hours later, we were on the road. We’ve run two miles a day since then, and have a strict plan to slowly increase our distance over the next 16 weeks until we’re ready to do 13.1 miles. And after that, who knows? Hopefully, we’ll have become lifelong runners along the way, and will be healthier and skinnier and more environmentally friendly for the rest of our days.

Y’all, I’m not going to lie to you – I’m terrified of failure. Now that we’ve invested in new gear and talked about it nonstop for four days – and now that I’m proclaiming our goal publicly on my blog – the thought of not being able to do this is just really, really awful. See, I’m not worried about my physical abilities. I probably should be, but I’m not. I’m certainly no athlete, but I’ve worked out or participated in some kind of physical activity on and off since I was 12. Whenever I’ve picked up a new exercise routine – and there have been MANY – within reason, my body has acclimated. I know this is going to be really hard, but physically, I think I’m strong. Strong enough.

Mentally, though? I’m so, so weak. There’s a reason my past is full of countless discarded workout routines – I suck at sticking to things. I’m lazy. I’m easily bored. I suck. And if we can’t really commit to the training, we certainly can’t run a half-marathon in April. You can’t just half-ass a training schedule and then try and run 13 miles. I’m pretty sure you’d break your leg or something. Or throw up. Or pass out. Plus, my friends have got to be really sick of hearing me blabber on and on about my new life plan only to abandon it after a few weeks. We have to do this.

It may seem like I’m jumping the gun by posting about this four days after making the decision, but my hope is that I’ll be so embarrassed to admit my failure to the internet that I’ll force myself to stick to the plan. Please hold me accountable, guys. If I post something about being too busy or hungover or lazy to run, SHUN me! Leave me comments and tell me I’m a horrible person! I really don’t want to be a quitter. I want to be a runner. Can I do that? Can I just become something that I’ve never been? I hope so.

By the way, I’m not worried about Brad being able to do this. He ran cross country in high school and has natural running ability, and he doesn’t have my commitment issues. He’ll be just fine.

I’m the question mark in this situation. I need to turn myself into an exclamation point as soon as possible.